Timing Is Everything...

April 10, 2014

People often say, “Timing is everything,” but no one can say definitively when that time is. Right timing is usually equated to going for something when everything seems aligned and opportune or when things work out, ‘just the way you planned or desired.’ The ‘right time’ is often diminished and deemed bad timing if any amount of challenge, difficulty, discomfort and/or “unfortunate outcome” appears. I recently had a very organic conversation with a beautiful sister at the yoga studio that I attend; she’s actually my favorite instructor. I inquired about her yoga journey from student to instructor and fluidly back to student. I learned that she was laid off from a six figure government job and decided to take her entire severance pay to fully fund the intense nine week $12,000-$13,000 boot camp-styled (my analogy not hers), training that future Bikram Yoga instructors must take; she also paid her rent for the two months that she would be gone. This exhausted her money. She didn’t stop there; she has continued to build on that. From consistently attending trainings and retreats to becoming certified to teach children’s yoga. This sister is committed to bringing health and total mind/body/spirit wellness to the masses ~ she’s on a mission to positively change lives from the inside out. Would she have chosen at that time to move boldly in her destiny or was the dismissal from the job the catalyst?

I learned that it was the dismissal from her “good job” that lit the fire in and around her; her intentions were to complete Bikram Yoga Training once she retired. FYI, her retirement was in her words, “20-25 years away." We often hear stories about people who courageously suffer a “setback” only to hear that they took it as an opportunity to be set up for something greater. The fire on the outside becomes our measure as to when it’s time to move, crawl, run and shift towards our greater.

Timing is everything.

After this external conversation, my internal conversations that I’d previously been having were only intensified. It went from the constant chatter I'd become numb to, to that infamous 'stare'. The one that we women have perfected; one eyebrow raised, brow furrowed, intense fixed gaze, lips pursed together, weight shifted to one side...the one that silently says, "Well, what you gon' do?!" I've been asking myself this for a few years now but I've allowed the answers to be found in the envelopes of my monthly bills and the balances I see in my various accounts as I'm doing my online banking. Despite my internal pleas and that hollow pit in my stomach that resulted from a severe lack of fulfillment, I looked at myself and with quiet empty eyes said, "You're gonna keep doing what you've been doing." Jé, you're going to keep ignoring the mounting frustrations, starvation of your spirit and obvious misalignment for just 'a little while longer.' I was going to stay the drought-ridden course because the time wasn't right to do anything differently. I've even congratulated myself a time or two...or three...or... (you get the point), on my heroic commitment (cause what else could it be), to maintain my strength in the midst of intense famine. I have watched myself wear this acceptance of dis-ease like a badge of honor. I mean after all, that's what strong women do. Hell, I have been naked and afraid in dire conditions without any soul food and I've made it far beyond 21 days.

Timing is everything.

I ridiculously daydreamed about how something near tragic or life changing would occur and how I'd successfully pull through! I was going to be a champion who made it in spite of; I mean after all, I'd grown significantly after previous tragedies. I was waiting for the external fire. Something powerful definitely happens when women are conversing but standing in a locker room in literal nakedness talking about your vulnerabilities, your fears, insecurities, your moments of uncertainty ~ something magical happens, something Divine.

Timing is everything.

There was no fire outside, only the fire in my belly; the same one that's been simmering in my belly for years. I looked in the eyes of this SiStar spirit and I took a deep breath and I validated my own fire. I've known something different for myself for a while now; however, moving in that wasn't happening. It has never seemed like the "right time." I'm ready for a new career; I've poured 17 years into my current career (Special Education). I've grown and expanded my duties and levels of responsibility in this career. I’ve excelled in this career; I've made beautiful connections and touched lives in this career and more than anything else, I've had my life forever changed by some of the souls I've encountered. I've had "stability", good insurance, a comfortable lifestyle and a nice salary in this career; I even had some sizable bonuses for great performance. Performing my job duties is something I can do with ease and fluidity especially if you don't try to confine, define or control me. Sadly, I'm doing this job and I'm noticing more and more that I'm not as present as I used to be. [SIDENOTE: I’m learning yoga will not ALLOW you to do this…the two cannot exist in the same space, it’s just NOT POSSIBLE].

I've spent this fiscal year working for Mr. Ego. I was wondering what I had done to cause this horrid experience, surely I didn't deserve this. I realize now why Ego had to be my boss and why this was not a horrible experience at all but in fact one of the best blessings I could have received! Working for Ego was the only way that I could stop disguising my discomfort as comfort as well as shed the last few illusions that I realized I was subconsciously holding on to. Ego has been everything that I needed her to be: lacking in integrity, impersonal, manipulative, condescending to people I've come to care about, inconsiderate, inconsistent, boastful and dishonest....all of the things that are inconsistent to what I believe in and what I know for myself. The Universe always gives you what you need. “Why me” shifted to the awareness that this and every other experience I have had has been a gift; it's all been a part of God's infallible plan for me.

Timing is everything.

I have been in training. In order to be in a position to learn to rely upon myself and the God-voice within, I had to be in a position where this awareness was challenged, then and only then would I learn that I am never to be dissuaded from this awareness. There needn't be any 'straws to break the camel's back', any external fires or tragic events, only an understanding that this level of training was nearing its end. Nothing occurs by happenstance anywhere because the Universal Mind, Spirit, Creator, Source, is always present, accessible, and aware. Infinite possibilities need no segue ~ mystical guidance doesn't need "right timing". This conversation. Another mirror. This time I would not ignore my inner voice. At that moment I answered the call to wake up, wiggle my toes and fingers and blink my eyes.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

I turned in my resignation two days later. I do not have another job, no great savings account that I can exhaust 'in the meantime' but for the first time in a very long time, I feel free. I decided ~ my time is NOW.

Love and Light, 

Jé 

NOTE: This is 1 of 4 blog posts from my original blog that I started in 2014. I share these first 4 with you and thank you in advance for being a witness to my journey.