Gather Your Team

February 17, 2014

It started with a commercial (we'll come back to that later), but it was reinforced when my youngest daughter came home upset after a group of young ladies thought it'd be cool to antagonize her without any provocation (she just started at a new school) . A little background: I'm the mother of three daughters, "Punkin’" a.k.a My Lifesaver is 19, "Lovie" a.k.a. My Breath of Fresh Air is 16 and "Bunny", my Indigo child, a.k.a. My Gypsy Girl, is 13. If anyone would be able to handle a situation like this without being knocked off balance, I would've definitely bet my money on Bunny; she tends to put folks in check quite quickly. You can imagine my surprise when she not only came home upset but she had been brought to tears. Upon realizing that these young ladies decided that they didn't like her because from their perspective she was "too cute", "too light" and she was, "taking attention away from them", I was devastated. First because for the first time ever, she didn't like school and her safety was being compromised, second because it hurt my heart to know that other little SiStars thought this behavior was acceptable. Now, in our home, empowerment of self and others is the norm. Depth of BEing and cultivation of inner beauty trumps everything...complimenting other women ~ yep, that'd be the norm too. So I inquired as to why she didn't educate these girls (as she's done in similar situations before), why didn't she tell them that this type of behavior is 'not cool' on any level. I drilled her and was even a bit frustrated that she didn't tell these young ladies that there was more than enough room at the table for them all to be appreciated and valued for what they uniquely had to offer on an individual level. "Why didn't you tell them that this is what is often expected from females but that we're a much stronger force when we're together!" After emotionally rattling off all the things she could've said and that I know she's said to check mean girl groups before, her most honest, raw and vulnerable response (after several hours), when I was tucking her in bed that night was, "I was all alone."

I was speechless.

This doesn't happen often. I was no longer looking at my little gypsy girl, my fireball; I was looking at a young lady whose Spirit recognized the importance of her Team. See, as Bunny explained to me, she was never afraid ~ this had nothing to do with fear, it had everything to do with the fact that she was alone, she was without her Team. Despite Bunny being the most vocal one in her group, the one who goes out on the ledge with or without visible support, her Team is always a "side-eye" away. It doesn't take having classes together or even the same lunch period, it matters just knowing that they're somewhere in the building. All it takes is a nod, a raised eyebrow, a downward glance that only need last a split second, a half smile or a water-filled eye, no words, just an action that builds on the connection that has already been planted, nurtured, loved on and allowed to grow some strong solid roots, to send out a vibration that simply says, "I need you."

Hence what I saw in this commercial…

Never underestimate the power of your team. A few years ago, I almost drowned...emotionally. I was way past dismantled, discouraged, disgusted, off balance and willing to entertain feelings of defeat, I was feeling so low inside that the mere idea of submitting to that 'lowness' was like heaven. This wasn't about having suicidal thoughts, no this was about just laying there and allowing myself to go inside and stay there. I had thoughts of getting in my car alone and driving away and never looking back. I envisioned choosing to become a selective mute; becoming numb and detached from all emotions, never again visibly acknowledging anyone in my life that I loved, allowing my eyes to glaze over as if I was no longer there. I work with people who genuinely battle with mental illnesses everyday; I was entertaining choosing to lock myself inside this world. It was scary. I'll definitely share more about this time in my life later; however, this turned out not to be an option that I had previously convinced myself that maybe I had. The reason why this never became a viable option, because my Team reminded me that despite what the illusions around me said, I was not alone. My Team reminded me that I was none of the things other players around me believed me to be and that I had every right to decide how I was going to maneuver my way through this game. See, just as the young man in the commercial attempted to do, I thought connecting to or in my case, staying connected to, a previously constructed team would suffice, I realized that I owed it to myself to construct a Team that was a true reflection of me.

Understand that there's a difference between joining a team, with a lowercase 't' and being a part of the construction of a Team with a capital 'T' in which each player chooses to belong; the latter Team is assembled based on individual skill sets that are extraordinarily enhanced and strengthened when they pull together collectively. There's  intentionality there for all the players. The construction of a Team happens organically, spiritually, magically, powerfully...divinely. The are no team captains because the Team is greater than any one individual, there is a shared vibration that allows you to naturally speak in one strong voice when the time calls for it. One team member asked the question in the commercial, he and the others obviously thought his position was greater than the other players; however, the Team answered as one. By association, you know that the young man whom I'll call, "the Team Gatherer",  has a gift. No we don't see him lifting heavy weights, or pulling people out of fires or even wrestling a bear and we don't need to because we KNOW, our Spirits know that he too has a gift. He is an important part of the Team.

There will inevitably be times in our lives as feminine energies where we become consumed with the demands of life, where we buy into the illusion of what being a woman is supposed to sound like, look like, walk like, talk like, BE like. We allow ourselves to believe that we are the roles we assume, we are the titles we wear, we are our childhoods, our "mistakes", our parent's children, our past...Times where we place more value on being a better daughter, wife, mother, boss, lover, etc. to everyone around us without giving ourselves permission to FIRST be the best "us" for ourselves. When we find ourselves in this space, we need to be able to look around and feel the energy of our Team. We need to be able to go to the SiStar circle and know that someone has our back; sometimes with no questions asked because that says I trust you and I trust what we have here in this space. When the cry is sent out that says, " I need you" or "I am in trouble", all you need to hear is, "OK".

My daughter didn't need someone to fight her battle, she simply needed to know that she was not alone.

I am pleased to say that after mediation and some open and honest dialogue facilitated by an adult, these young ladies were able to come to the table and find some resolve. Bunny spent this past weekend with her Team; she came home last night exhausted and full of joy. As her mother I am pleased, as a woman I am reminded and inspired.

My charge to you is quite simple ~ Gather your Team.

Love and Light,

Jé

NOTE: This is 1 of 4 blog posts from my original blog that I started in 2014. I share these first 4 with you and thank you in advance for being a witness to my journey.